What breaks your heart?

Olive Oyl walks with splendor and, with eyes closed, displays an innocent smile. Brutus appears, asking Olive to come with him. Popeye is watching yet somehow doesn’t seem affected. But when Brutus got frustrated with Olive’s “no”, he now uses force to make his plans work. This is the time when Olive cries for help. And this is the time when Popeye, with a sailors’ grammar says, “this is all I can stands, I can’t stands no more!”. And so he swallowed a can of spinach and kicked Brutus’ butt.

Bill Hybels calls it the “Popeye Moment”. It’s when a person feels, hears or sees something that breaks his heart. It’s when leaders are born! Moses felt, heard and saw his own people’s suffering in Egypt; that broke his heart and God chose him to lead the people out of Egypt. David saw Goliath and heard him mock the army of Israel, thus defying God, and David felt his heart breaking; that made him step out and defeated the giant. This “Popeye Moment” is the burning passion that drives a leader into action!

And so Bill Hybels asked, what breaks your heart? What makes you say, “this is all I can stands, I can’t stands no more”? What is your “Popeye Moment”?

These questions set my mind wandering and wondering! What breaks my heart? All of a sudden, scores of scenes from the past came flashing in. I remember seeing a kid sniffing rugby in a mall’s entrance. A security guard drove him away, beating him with a nightstick. I saw it. I heard the kid’s cry. I felt the pain. It broke my heart.

I see young people drowning themselves with liquor. It breaks my heart. I see students wasting their time and money on computer games. I see them in the streets talking, shouting, cursing. I see them playing billiards on school days. I hear them singing on videoke bars, still on school days. I watch young girls smoke cigarette. I watch them enjoy as they toss down bottles of beer, laughing like there is no tomorrow. I hear these young girls talk “naughty stuff”. I see this younger generation slipping away from morality, and they are unaware about it. Confront them and you’ll get responses you won’t like. I feel their need. Yet they don’t. And it breaks my heart.

I get to know people unsatisfied with their jobs. I hear their plans to work abroad, not because of a present need, but because of certain desires they want to fulfill. I see families ruined because of irresponsible parents. Still I see families ruined because of parents leaving to work abroad. I hear people worry over their finances yet they spend money on worthless things. I feel their discontent. And it breaks my heart.

I see unbelievers, living their lives, unaware of the coming end. I hear them say they believe in God. Let them speak more, and you’ll find out that they’re talking about a God they don’t even know. I hear them say they have faith. Watch their lives and faith is just a “church thing”. Still I see believers, feeling satisfied with just the title “Christian”. I feel their ignorance as I feel mine. And it breaks my heart.

Ouch. As long as I hear, see, and feel these things, my heart continues to bleed. You may say I’m just paranoid. Maybe you’ll tell me to stop worrying about such things. Maybe you’ll tell me to ignore those things. Think twice. If I ignore them, I ignore Christ’s cause.
It’s time you ask yourself, what breaks your heart?
What makes you say, “this all i can stands, i can’t stands it no more”?
And I pray that God will use to do something for that “Popeye Moment”.

Age of What?

Centuries have passed since my hero stained that tree with his own blood, endured the shame and then died with a punishment meant for slaves and criminals. It was the birth of hope. The nails that wounded his hands marked the beginning of another covenant. That was a couple of thousand years ago. And now I’m reading through the pages of history.

Centuries. Eras. Periods. Ages. But as I’m reading through the pages of history and at the same time comparing it to the present world, it’s sad to notice that people seemed to become more interested on less important things about life. The people then were so curious about the truth. Today, we don’t care if it’s true or not, as long as it promotes temporal pleasure. In the past, wars erupt to reveal truth. Today, wars ignite because of mistakes. The greater our weapons for massive destruction are, the lesser our reasons for killing lives.

True wisdom is fading. I shared this insight to a friend, and she asked me to explain why. Man, a little child can tell if his father has changed. But for me to explain the great difference between the early centuries and today is another thing. Dr. Bruce Shelley wrote a book two-inches-thick about it and still admits his masterpiece is not that adequate. So I formulated a simple but striking answer, and maybe a punch for vanity. Here it is:

Age of Reformation, Age of Reason and Revival, Age of Progress,
Age of Ideologies; these were the development of history. What
would you call our age today? Age of fashion? Age of Sexual
Immorality? Age of Hollywood? Or here in our country, Age of Media,
Soap Operas and Lame Reality TV Shows? Age of Bob Ong?
Age of Camera-Conscious Politicians? Come on…
You can tell the huge difference.

Philip Slater, a psychologist, once said in his book entitled The Pursuit of Loneliness, “we seek for more and more privacy, and feel more and more alienated and lonely when we get it”. We compete rather than cooperate; we avoid rather engage; we play it “cool” and thereby make the world a little “colder”.
I’ll leave you thinking with two choices: Will you continue to be unaware or ignorant about the way of this sick, cursed and fallen world, and play it cool as you enjoy its fleeting pleasures? Or will you stand up with a spirit of revival and break the chains of slavery that holds you from knowing the Truth and gaining eternal pleasures?

Selfish Again

The same word. The same person. The first was said a year ago. The second was like a music to my heart.

I’ve known this person all my life. I had lived with her under one roof. The same middle names. The same blood. Family. Her school life I once envied.

Here she is again, calling me by that same word she once did about a year ago.

“Pastor!”

But this time, it wasn’t the same feeling. No, it’s extremely different that what it was before. The first time was just a plain joke; a stone thrown at a wall. I wasn’t affected. But this time, she said it because she really meant it. She called me by that name because she deeply knows the essence of that.

She’s a dear cousin. But I’ve seen her “wanderings” in this wicked world. I’ve seen her swaying back and forth. I’ve seen her waddle in this common see called life. But this time she’s totally different!

I always tell people that sometimes God brings people to a desert-like situations in life just let us learn how to depend on Him. He puts us into a circumstance where in there’s no oasis; nothing to do but kneel at His feet. But hers was literal! It’s a desert indeed!

When she went to Saudi Arabia to work there, God captivated her heart. God found her. She found herself resting in God’s arms. And it changed her. Her perceptions. Her views. Her mind. Her life. Her heart.

It really gave me encouragement; to see my cousin redirecting her life to God. At the same time I could not help but be humbled down. Here I am with a freedom to learn and so much freedom to worship the One I love, I still feel somewhat weak. Yet this woman who stayed in a country where Christians are persecuted, she’s so bold and aware and zealous and enthusiastic and passionate! Wow! She’s downright Christian already!!!

I cried to God, praying, wailing…Lord make me like her. Make my heart as passionate as hers. As fervent as her. I just want to be in a place where I could worship You all day, all night, no distractions, no whatsoever. God, I’m so blessed every time she tells me about her life back there!

And what was my attitude? Selfish again. As always. I want. Make me. I just. I could. I’m so. How shameful for me. I must thank God that I am here; in an open field where anything could happen. I must praise God that I am here; in a battle place against distractions and temptations, against deceptions and everything. In a place where He wants me to be. In a place where He will mold me. Where He will teach me. Where He will use me. Where He has called me.

Ate Che, thank you so much for your life. Your testimonies. Your encouragement. Your prayers. God touched my heart through you. God has been so good, always! Glory to God alone!!!

a discourse: unforseen yet unsurprising

“A clever yet an unimpressive insight…”
That’s what I said to myself after listening to his opinions.

I was on the net one night, surfing and searching until I entered this chat room. I was typing a message when I suddenly saw two chatters having a serious conversation. One was a newly converted Christian and he just could not accept the fact that this man he was talking with believes that a bible is no more than a deck of cards. Well, most Christians, if not all, would really reject that idea.

Apparently this man he was dealing with is not an atheist. Observing his views would make anyone conclude he’s a Catholic. The reason why he thinks a bible is no more than a deck of cards is this: a deck of cards contain biblical information, or so he thought. He even said that he uses a deck of cards as a bible and a prayer book. And it totally shocked the new convert, and exclaiming like, “You don’t know what you’re saying! How dare you compare the Bible to a deck of cards?! The Bible is holy!!! It is the Word of God!!! How could you even compare a holy book it to an instrument of gambling?! ”

At first, I just let them continue their discussion. I tried to observe these two fellows with how they talk, how they react with each other’s opinions, and how confidently convinced they are with their convictions. Honestly, I was more distracted with the new convert’s manner of approach. He firmly stands for his belief. A fervent type of man, I would say. Aggressively defending for what he believes in, I was convinced he was really a new convert even before he told me. His enthusiasm is definite; a typical nature and a good spirit that a recently converted person must have. But there’s one thing I noticed. He was debating. The other guy was more like a calm person, reasoning that he was just sharing his opinions. The moment he started explaining, the new convert responded simultaneously and with hostility. I felt like I was watching two kids arguing over who’s the greatest superhero. I said to myself, “this Christian can’t persuade the other guy into believing him if he behaves like that.” Sadly, the Christian seemed to be the bad guy in the story. So I decided to butt in.

First, I asked them both if I could join the conversation. Then I told the new convert, “Buddy, I got your back. I’m also a Christian. Let me handle this for you”. I said it for him to feel unthreatened with the growing pressure developed by their discussion. And fortunately, he agreed. Then I told the other guy to address hi questions to me. I also asked if he can repeat everything that he said. I promised him that I will listen while he’s presenting his views. And so he started his presentation. (Buckle up guys; this may shake your faith. Just kidding…)

He believes that a deck of cards can be used as a bible or a prayer book. He said that he can go on living his “faith in God” with a deck of cards. Surprised? Well, not me. I’ve heard a lot of unique religious views. (I’ve heard about a man who thinks that the Bible was written by aliens. Well, if it’s true, then I’ll tell the world my greatest secret. I’m Spiderman.) He went on saying that “maybe” when the deck of cards was invented, the inventor had in the bible in his mind. Notice that he’s using the word “maybe”; ironic because he’s strongly convinced with his views. Then he continued explaining that each number in the cards represents a fact found in the Bible. I patiently took heed.

He said that the number 1 reminds us that there is one God. Hmmm…basically true but I don’t need cards to remember that. Further, a deck of cards don’t have the number 1. He made a bad start.

I forgot what the number 2 means…sorry.

The number 3 represents the three Mary’s. Hmmm…still, I’m unimpressed.

The number 4 represents the four evangelists who preached the Gospel namely Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Whoa…I wanted to laugh after hearing it but I patiently told him that they were not really evangelists, well not all of them. They actually wrote the four gospels. I can’t remember Mark and Luke preaching. Matthew and John are apostles and of course were entrusted with the Gospel.

I also forgot what the number 5 means…sorry again.

The number 6 reminds us about the number of days that God spent in the Creation.

The number 7 reminds us about the seventh day when God rested.

I forgot about 8 and 9…sorry again.

The number 10 represents the commandments that God gave through Moses. But I told him those commandments including the whole Mosaic Law were summed into two in the New Testament. I want to advice him about updating his opinion, but I didn’t want to offend him.

Jack represents Satan. The Queen represents the Virgin Mary. And the King represents Jesus. The Aces represents something but I also forgot them. He went on by saying that if you are going to sum up the numbers in a whole deck of cards; it would result to the number of days in a year. He added a lot of views concerning mathematical methods. I just said to myself, he’s going too far from biblical facts.

After presenting his views, I thanked him and told him that I appreciate his opinions. Then I asked him if I could give some comments and present my views. So here is what I said…

Isaiah 55:8-11, (he said he wasn’t good with verses right after I said that, unsurprising because you can’t find verses in cards), I told him not to worry; I’m just going to explain its context. Well in that passage of Isaiah, it tells us about God’s thoughts are higher than our thoughts, so are His ways than our ways. It tells us that we can never define the vastness of His wisdom. I also told him that there are other events and things that happened in Christ’s ministry that were not included in the Bible. And my brain can never contain the exact amount of information that the Bible has. I asked him, “If your views are true, then are you saying that a deck of cards functions better than a human brain?” I know that question made him think for a second or two. I myself was quite stunned with my own question.

Then I went on by telling him that his presentation was a bit fascinating. I mean, who could have suspected a deck of cards to be that informative, and in a way, biblically informative. He was about to thank me when I quickly added this, “your presentation lacks one thing, one very precious thing. My friend, you mentioned the four Gospel authors, but cards can’t explain the Gospel. You mentioned Jesus, but cards can never explain Christ’s act. You see my friend; the whole bible can be summed up into one context, because the most important thing in it is Christ’s gospel. I read my bible, because it contains the gospel, and is very necessary for my salvation. I appreciate the information given by the cards, but it can never save me. I can be reminded over and over again about the facts given by the cards, but it can never tell me about salvation. I read my bible not just because it has more extensive information than a deck cards, but also because it tells me about God’s love. ”

Every man is born capable of reasoning. Every single brain has intelligence in itself. And I understand why this man, claiming that a bible is no more than a deck of cards, thinks that way. It is because he finds authority in his reasoning. A lot of people do that. We try to question everything. We try to identify everything. We try to define everything. We try to know everything. We rely on our own intellects, yet we allow anything to steer our thoughts. And that’s shameful. We try to set our brain as our authority, yet we let our brains be controlled by anything under the sun; just like this guy who lets his belief be motivated by a deck of cards. Just imagine this. Each one in this planet has his own style of thinking, and we tend to tolerate each other. We thought that this would bring unity. But if the meaning of everything depends on our own opinions, considering 8 billion people who have his own way of thinking, chaos breaks in! How foolish!

Consider thinking this: What is your authority? How do you define truth?

The Fall of Man to the Folly of Man

As a kid, I enjoyed my Sunday schools listening to Bible stories. King David, Samson and Joseph were just one of my favorite characters in those stories. Back then, their names were just like historical figures to remember for our history subject in elementary. My motivations were as naïve as a toddler recalling his first set of toys.

It wasn’t until now that I’ve come to realize how those names played very significant roles in our lives. Right now, I can picture out someone questioning me about how relevant the account of David is to our present condition. He would go on stressing about how this king committed adultery in the sight of his Lord. But if that would happen, I think would choose not to argue with him. Not because I want to tolerate his belief, but because there is someone (or there are two persons) who came much earlier than David who also committed a dreadful act of sin. So dreadful that it caused the entire humanity lose its intimacy with the Creator.

And yes, definitely…I am talking about him…and her…Adam and Eve. Well before, for me their sin were just like any ordinary sin we do today. And that was before I realized how terrible their transgression is.

Before, whenever I feel the imperfections of life, that apple always come to my mind. Should I blame Adam and Eve for eating that fruit? Should I be hurling my furious thoughts to them? Should I feel hopeless now because of what our very first ancestors did? Should I blame them for this imperfect, sinful, corrupted world we are living in?

Well…I could have if hadn’t known Christ…But that wasn’t that easy. Because when I met my Jesus, sin became more filthy than it was before! And I became much more aware of my own share of rubbish deeds! Before I was just aware of the sins that I commit visually seen by people, but now it became worse! I came to know my deepest, darkest, most horrifying attitudes of my heart! How unworthy I am before the Lord!!!

I could have died because of guilt…Crying out loud would seem to make no sense. Tears couldn’t wash my sins away…Weeping couldn’t cleanse my heart…
But His Blood Did!!!
Jesus Christ my Savior died for my sins, it could have been me on that cross carrying my own sins! But He offered His life not just for me, but for everyone who believes in Him!
Plus, He has promised to return! And when that day comes, everything will be perfect!!! My hope is in Him.

Today, whenever I feel the imperfections of life, that apple no longer come to my mind. It was replaced by a very wonderful promise. A promise sealed with His precious blood! And my prayer is for everyone to see the glory of my Savior, so that they too may come to know Him!

a shift of confidence...

Softly…as I embrace the pillow, a thought came to me. I have been worrying, wailing, pleading, and praying for weeks for something to be settled. For days I sat alone in the darkness yet tonight an unhealthy peace is in the air. I feel totally confident, like a skilled knight about to kill a cornered barbarian. This isn’t me. This isn’t how I should be.
Of course, Christians are taught not to worry at certain struggles, not to fret at a failing moment. Does it mean that I should accommodate this confidence I am feeling right now? Christians are supposed to trust in the Lord at all times. So do I have to bother and let a doubting thought invade my spirit?
But why am I feeling awkward about this peace? Why am I trying to bring back the heavy, dark clouds above my head? Why do I feel like I’m heading back towards my fears when the bible tells us to cast all our burdens upon Him? Maybe a friend would tap my shoulder, playing the “more-mature-Christian-than-me” role and ask me, “Kit, don’t you trust in Jesus?”.
O-K-A-Y…Don’t you trust in Jesus? Do you pray for Him to take away a pain settling deep within your hearts? Have you ever experienced kneeling beside the sofa, looking up to somewhere called heaven, crying with pain yet shouting with praises while praying at night? I have. I always do that. And yes, I do trust in Jesus. But why am hoping that this confidence will fade away?
Trust, a part of our faith, is important. If I don’t have it, I’m worse than a kid throwing a coin in a well, wishing that someday his dreams would come true. It will be like throwing punches in the air. But what should be the reason of my confidence? Am I confident because of the Lord’s promises, or am I confident because a thought is instilled in my mind that my prayer, my desire, my “demand” will be answered right now. But Jesus did not promise a perfect life here on earth. He did not promise that now that I accepted Him in my life, I will suffer no more. Many Christians think that way: once you become a Christian, you shouldn’t be facing sufferings anymore. A Christian shouldn’t experience sickness anymore. Man is always hurting, and the total relief of that pain is available, and it’s available now! Or is it...?
Kung ganun pala, tapos eto pinagdadaanan ko, ibig sabihin sa pangalan lang pala ako matatawag na Christian?
But to tell you folks, perfect life is not available today. It is said in the bible that Christians will surely face sufferings. We will surely live a life of persecution, and it’s almost as uninviting as it sounds. So what should be the basis of my confidence? How should I trust?
That night, I prayed hard like always do, but this time, it’s a bit unusual. Begging to take away my confidence would seem like a silly prayer, an unwise lament for a broken ego. But I needed to. The confidence I am looking for should not be based on a “I prayed hard and by now, the Lord should be working at it ” notion. I should be confident not because I am expecting for a sure answer; an answer based on my terms and an answer that should be delivered right away. But the Lord is not a vending machine with an “insert prayer request here and select an answer you like” sign. But sadly, most people treat the Lord that way.
Maybe we should try to question ourselves. Why are we feeling confident with our prayers? What’s the basis of your trust in God? Is it because we are expecting for answers? For a quick relief for our pain? For an instant solution to our problems? What if the Lord chooses to be silent…What would happen to your hope? What would happen to your trust? What would happen to your faith…?
Surely I wasted that confidence, but it’s not what I’m looking for. It should not be my theory of trust. I should be confident because even if my prayers won’t be answered, I know that God will not leave me behind. Even if I suffer here on earth, I know that someday life will be perfect, not here no earth, but in heaven. My confidence and hope should be based on the that promise. The more I suffer, the more I trust in Him, the more I long for His return. My heart was created with desires, but I should not try to dig up my own well to fill up my thirst, I should not settle for anything less. I am hoping for that perfect life in His presence. That, I believe, should be the reason for my confidence and the basis of my trust…

hOw dO yOu pRay?

1 Timothy 2:1-7


I thank God because I am blessed with this privilege: to share the first message about our theme for this month. I thank God because even if I’m just a beginner, I get the privilege of being in the beginning, like this one. Well, it is a privilege indeed, for our theme for this month is Prayer. Some say, “Our highest privilege is to talk to God”. Others say, “To walk with God, we must talk to God”. And yes, they are right. It is really a privilege to talk with God as we walk with God. But how should we pray? What are the “things” that we should pray for? And what are the “reasons” why we should pray for those “things”? Before we answer these questions, let us first take a look at 1 Timothy 2:1-7.


A. The Range of Priorities in Prayer (v. 1-2a)

One of the questions we have a while ago is “What are the ‘things’ that we should pray for?”. In the first verse of 1 Timothy chapter 2, Paul was telling Timothy that prayers should be made for everyone. And he wasn’t just referring to everyone inside the church, because he included “kings and all those in authority”. Let us not forget that Nero was the emperor of Rome at that time. We all know that this ruler was a notorious persecutor of Christians. He and together with those under his authority were persecuting Christians yet Paul was telling Timothy to instruct the Christians in Ephesus to pray for the authorities! Imagine having a Philippine president who persecutes Christians just like Nero, how hard could it be? Going back to Paul’s time, it was an era in which a Christian finds it easy to die for Christ, but finds it hard to live for Christ.
So brothers, we should be grateful because even though our government is not perfect, at least they are not persecuting us. I’m not saying that we should tolerate their mistakes, but instead, just like Paul’s command, we should pray for them! We intercede for them! We should remember everyone in our prayers, Christians or non-Christians, whatever their status in life is. It was Jesus himself who said that we should pray for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44). But why? Why should we pray for everyone? Why should we pray even for those people outside the church? Why should we pray even for those who persecute us? That’s what we are going to fin out in our next point.

B. The Reasons and Purposes in Prayer (v. 2b-7)

In verse 2, Paul urges the church to pray for kings and authorities, “that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness”. So this is the reason why Paul was telling us to pray for them. It is for us to live “peaceful and quiet lives” in all “godliness and holiness”. It’s interesting to notice how Paul was insisting godliness in his Pastoral letters. Maybe we should consider the connectivity between “praying under persecution” and “godliness”.

In 2 Peter, the apostle told us to make every effort to add to your faith goodness; then knowledge; then self-control; then “perseverance” and then to “perseverance”, “godliness”! Praying under persecution is an act of perseverance, and perseverance results to godliness. This should be one of our reasons in praying: that we become godly.

Another reason why Paul was urging us to pray for everyone is because this is pleasing to our Lord. In verses 3-4, Paul said: This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. So God desires for all men to be saved. We should have the same desire and therefore we must pray for everyone so that they too “may come to a knowledge of the truth”.
But what is this truth that Paul was telling us about? That Jesus died for all men, as stated in verses 5-6, “For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all men – the testimony given in its proper time”. This is the truth that in the fullness of time Jesus gave himself as a ransom for “all men”! And this is why we should pray for “all men”! This is why in verse 7, Paul said that he was a teacher of the “true faith” to the Gentiles. Paul was emphasizing his ministry to the Gentiles and we should consider the fact that the authorities in the Roman Empire were Gentiles. So discrimination was out of the picture. Either Jew or Gentile, the truth must be preached. And that’s how it is in our prayers: Christians or non-Christians, slaves to the highest authorities, rich or poor, we should pray for them all.

So friends, I encourage you to consider this instruction of the apostle Paul. Let us thank God our Savior for reminding us through this message that God desires for all men to be saved. Let us thank Him for His love that conquers this whole world of sinners, in which you and I are part of it.

So now that we are reminded of this, how then should we respond to this call? Being aware of the situation of our country, the situation of our economy, the issues around the government, the tragedies that happened not just in our country but around the world, I really believe that the best time to pray for all of them is right at this very moment. I urge you to just spend a moment in prayer…just a silent prayer…keeping in mind the realities that are happening around the globe…the people who still haven’t come to a knowledge of truth…let us pray for them…
Now brothers, keep in mind that God loves the world and He desires for all men to be saved. Should we pray for them? Yes we should, we just did! Now should we reach out to them? If God wants them to have a knowledge of the truth, isn’t it right to preach the truth to them? I think it is. As we pray for them, maybe we should also put our prayers into action. After all, it is our Great Commission: to go and preach the gospel. Good day and God bless us all.

a shadow

it's almost over...
things happened so fast..

at the highest peak of my passions,the fall is unmeasurable...
this is my downfall..i failed to do my part...

one beat from this heart
changes my subtle mind...

someday my disenchantments will fade..
but before that they will rule my days..

and they're just beggining to flee frommy thoughts...

and as fear captivate my ablazingfaith, im starting to realize..
someday this pain will be over..
but before that, someday those who look up to me
will know who they're looking up to..
and they'll stop..


come with me, you'll find out first hand what its like to be me...

A shadow of tomorrow

i am a rebel to the inevitable
a desperate soldier longing for joy

but my constant resistance is futile
for the plot will always succeed

i am a failure opponent of righteousness
but an anvancing victor over the unfaithful

yet it's plain to seethat the intensity is still impaired
much is needed, so much more is to be gainedthe choice is still at hand

will i thwart reality?
or will i face another beginning...

this walk isn't moderate
but to be within the will of the supreme is total serenity

the one thing to remember
is to never forget the unpredictable

what i see today might not be true tomorrow
but what i know today is just a shadow of the upcoming

no matter how free your will is
its never a threat to HIs mystery


grace and peace...

i cry in amazement

here i am again...sitting alone with my eyes drenched...
you always prove to me your greatness....
amazed like a little child taking his first ride in a bicycle, i endured everything through Your name...and in Your name i carried the best of what i am, placing it in Your mighty hands...
so that..
whatever may come, anxiety is just a worthless expression..
wherever i am, darkness is just a vague illusion..
and if ever i fall, remedy is just a prayer away...
i want to bless Your name at all times...i want to..because of who You are...because of what You've done...
and i am not ashamed, yesterday, today and forever, no, ill never be ashamed, singing to You, praising Your name with a shout, standing amidst the presence of these hungry saints with tears in my eyes...
yes Lord...i stand in awe of You...i cry in amazement...my heart beats harder as i draw near to you...my sole desire..my everything...

emo?

why...

sometimes certain thoughts cross my

mind leaving me broken with tears...

hugging this old guitar, playing it

while tears fall down from my face to these bed sheets...

the slower my fingers play the strings,

the faster these salty drops of regrets

roll down from my stressed eyes...deep,

misty, sorrowful eyes...must be the

afternoon sunlight that irritated

them...

begging for forgiveness...

a routine that a sinner like me always do...a routine that a sinner like me

MUST always do..

longing for comfort from His unfading love,

i turned this music into a prayer...a sincere one, full of sentiments...

and tears...


and if i call Your name...my filthy deed will be forgiven...

a dangerous past...

take it easy..i'm not talking about horrible, tragic and ill-fated events from the past..i'm talking about those great moments that happened in the past..those glorious days in which you've felt so comfortable..just reminiscing through those memories makes you want to go back to that past...

i have this friend of mine who always recall her childhood days..her family used to be rich: pleasure, luxury, comfort, everything a family could wish for, you name it..everytime those memories come flashing through her mind, i see a smile in her face, at least for a while...one day i asked her, "you really miss your old days, don't you.." she answered with a nod and a smile in her pretty lips and said, "yeah, i do.."

I also have this “sort of an organization” where in all the members know each other well, they grew up together since their childhood days.. I must admit, I became a member way too late compared to all of them. In fact, they never knew me until I entered this “organization”. But I can tell that they have a lot of beautiful memories to recall. One night we had meeting about a certain problem we’re having. As I addressed the issue, I tried to boldly point out the real cause of it. All of them were just listening, confident or hurting.. I said to myself, I must have released a pretty awful stuff with my words. Maybe the timing wasn’t right. Then suddenly, one of the leaders stood up. He said we were not like this before. He tried to encourage the team by letting them remember the things they did before: the happy days. All of a sudden the mood of the room changed, filled with laughter and joy. The hurt faded. The beautiful past took over. The problem was forgotten. The real issue was somewhere behind the smiles. But the truth was denied: a denial that would lead to despair. The sickness wasn’t healed. The remedy was not taken.

Folks, what I am trying to point out is this.. A good past cannot mend a broken present.. A good tree cannot bring back the original taste of a rotten apple.. I was quite disappointed that night of the meeting. I mean, I really appreciate what that leader did. It seemed to ease the situation. But it’s not the remedy to the problem.. just a first aid for a fractured elbow.. too shallow to reach the depth of the twist.. too vague to see the object of the shadow..

This message will not give you the real remedy of a broken present, but it may lead you to open your heart and mind. To open your eyes and see the real deal. Recalling your good past cannot mend your bad situation at present. Like I said to that friend of mine, your family’s present situation is different from before. Face the truth. Good memories are meant to be treasured and remembered, but not to hide the wounded palm under your shirt. Search from the inside out. Look beyond what you see and find the real problem. You may not be thoroughly equipped to face it, but at least the problem is defined. The truth may be painful, but at least you know what’s hurting you. The sickness may not be healed right away, but at least you know what to tell to your doctor.

In Matthew 23:25-26, Jesus Christ scolded the Pharisees and teachers of the law. But this time, I’ll use Jesus’ words into an advice. Don’t just clean the outside of the cup and dish, when inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Don’t be blind. First, clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

Folks, I am one of you. I must confess that I also have those hidden hurts in my heart and inner diseases of my soul. I encourage you to start from the inside out. Let the Lord consume you form the inside out. Let Him search the deepest and darkest chambers of your soul. Let’s not pretend to be okay, when we’re not. Let’s not pretend to feel good, when the heart is aching. Let’s not deny the real cause of our hurt by recalling our beautiful past, it won’t work. I’ve done it myself. And failed. I call it, my false pretense. Let’s not try living our days by bringing the past back. Let’s not try to heal our pain by deceiving joy. Hope is available, and it’s available now.

For a more vital dealing with this kind of issue, I encourage you to read the book Inside Out by Dr. Larry Crabb, available at Christian bookstores.

hOw fAr cAn wE gO?

Soldiers of Christ: How far can we go?
John 6:60-71

In I Timothy 4:1, Paul says that in the later times, some will abandon their faith. Today, how many of the people we know have abandoned their faith? Do you know someone who has already turned his or her back on God’s love? I hope we still remember the time when we accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. It’s so amazing how God created such clever ways (sometimes unusual) and used certain people (sometimes unexpected) just to draw us near to Him! It’s just so sad that some people chose to step out of God’s grace after spending some time with Him. But it’s not surprising because in the days of Christ’s ministry, even those who were once His disciples have stopped following Him. Why did it happen? Why did they choose to leave Jesus? Here are some reasons that we can find in John 6:60-71, and maybe we can draw out some ideas why people nowadays share the same problem.

1. Verse 60, Unteachable Heart

After hearing Jesus teach, many of His disciples were complaining about His teaching. They said, “This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?” Why can’t they understand His teaching? What is lacking? Have we experienced this in our Christian life? (i.e., bible studies, bible reading, sermons) What do you think is the reason for that?

2. Verse 61, Unrepentant Heart

After hearing His disciples complaining, Jesus asked them, “Does my teaching offend you?” That’s very true. Sometimes there are teachings in the Bible that offend us, and it is really hurting to find out that some of the things that we value are against the teaching of Jesus. It’s painful, as Hebrews 4:12 describes it. But we must repent our sins. We must learn to let go, if the Bible says so. But we must thank God for giving us the strength to obey His Word.

3. Verse 64, Unbelieving Heart

As we can see in verse 64, some of Jesus’ followers didn’t have believing hearts. Jesus was teaching the very words of eternal life, but they did not believe Him. And we can see the same problem today. There are a lot of people we know who are unbelievers. But why? In what things are these unbelieving hearts focused to? In what things are they busy with? These people, and sometimes us Christians, are focused on material things and busy with worldly desires. But what did Jesus say in verse 63? “The words I have I have spoken to you are spirit, and they are life.” Jesus’ teachings are no t about material things and worldly desires, they’re spirit and they focus on spiritual things.

Further, there are some people today who believe in some of Jesus’ teachings but reject same of His teachings. They accept what benefits them and rejects what contradicts their lifestyle. But this is not pleasing to God! Jesus wants all His teaching to be obeyed! In Matthew 28:19-20, the Great Commission, Jesus says, “…and teaching them everything I have commanded you.” II Timothy 3:16-17 also testifies about the authenticity of the whole Scripture.

4. Verse 70-71, Unfaithful Heart

Everybody knows the story of Judas, the disciple who betrayed Jesus for thirty pieces of silver coins. Thirty silver coins are equivalent to a laborer’s salary for four months. So if a person today has an income of P10, 000 per month, thirty silver coins are equivalent to P40, 000. Some people today would betray a friend for such huge amount.
So Judas became unfaithful to Jesus, and chose his desire for money instead of following and obeying Jesus. Hmmm…Many people today desire money to become wealthy. And it’s quite disappointing to see some Christians who put Jesus in the least of his or her priorities. We must not be like those people who trade Jesus for money. We should not have an unfaithful heart. We should not have the heart of Judas!

These are some reasons why some people today abandon their faith: unteachable heart, unrepentant heart, unbelieving heart and unfaithful heart. Now the challenge is: What should we do to our brothers and sisters who have these attitudes? What should we do to our brothers and sisters who abandoned their faith? Galatians 6:1-10 explains it all.

What then shall our heart be? There is a heart that pleases God. A heart that is teachable, who understands the Word of God. A heart that is repentant, who confesses his sins and asks for God’s forgiveness. A heart that is believing, who believes and accepts the Word of God. A heart that is faithful, who doesn’t betray God but follows and obeys His Word. A heart that is totally submitted, totally dependant and totally surrendered to God. A heart who says “Lord, to whom shall we go? Lord, Your Word gives eternal life! Lord we believe in You! Lord, You are the Holy One of God!” Just like Peter said in verse 68-69. Tonight/today, brothers and sisters let us all reflect on this message of God. And let us focus on this one verse, John 6:65. And I leave you with this one question. Soldier of Christ, without Christ, how far can we go? Good night/morning and God bless.